You have a cough? Go home tonight; eat a whole box of Ex-Lax - tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.

Quote by Pearl Williams

Topics: Funny Quotes, Get Well Quotes

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax; tomorrow you'll...

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax; tomorrow you'll...

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.

I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair...

I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair...

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a...

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a...

No one likes change but babies in diapers.

No one likes change but babies in diapers.

You can sum up this sport boxing in two words: You never know.

You can sum up this sport boxing in two words: You never know.

In some families, 'please' is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it...

In some families, 'please' is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it...

At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look...

At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look...

Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine.

Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine.

A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank...

A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank...

Democracy becomes a government of bullies tempered by editors.

Democracy becomes a government of bullies tempered by editors.

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an...

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an...

As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.

As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep...

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep...

Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following...

Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following...

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want...

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want...

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to...

When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to...

I learned a long time ago that minor surgery is when they do the operation...

I learned a long time ago that minor surgery is when they do the operation...