Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
Quote by Johnny Carson
Get Well Quotes
If variety if the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam
For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper...
People will pay more to be entertained than educated.
New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved.
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they...
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has...
Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.
My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous....
Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow...
We're more effective than birth control pills.
The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money
Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his...
For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from...
Invention is the talent of youth, as judgment is of age.
I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I...
When an illness knocks you on your ass, you should stay down and relax for...