Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton.

Quote by David Letterman

Topics: David Letterman Quotes

I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.

I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.

We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going...

We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going...

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the...

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the...

New York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you.

New York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you.

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom...

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom...

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does...

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does...

The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead. He's dead, then...

The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead. He's dead, then...

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does...

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does...

Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham...

Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham...

USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every...

USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every...

Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are...

Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are...

President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage...

President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage...

Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have...

Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have...

Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand...

Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like...

Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like...

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall...

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall...

The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The...

The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The...

I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.

I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.

Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got...

Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got...

Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for...

Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for...