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I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.
#David Letterman
Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic...
#David Letterman
It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what...
#David Letterman
It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or...
#David Letterman
Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't...
#David Letterman
Number one: Don't frisk me. Don't hurt me physically. Don't get anywhere near my neck....
#Advice
Sometimes something worth doing is worth overdoing.
#Time
Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham...
#Books
The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these...
#Intelligence
Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have...
#David Letterman
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall...
#David Letterman
For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.
#David Letterman
Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for...
#David Letterman
I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show...
#David Letterman
I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.
#David Letterman
I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you...
#David Letterman
Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like...
#David Letterman
Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand...
#David Letterman
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