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I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.

I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.

Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic...

Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic...

It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what...

It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what...

It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or...

It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or...

Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't...

Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't...

Number one: Don't frisk me. Don't hurt me physically. Don't get anywhere near my neck....

Number one: Don't frisk me. Don't hurt me physically. Don't get anywhere near my neck....

Sometimes something worth doing is worth overdoing.

Sometimes something worth doing is worth overdoing.

Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham...

Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham...

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these...

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these...

Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have...

Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have...

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall...

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall...

For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.

For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.

Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for...

Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for...

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show...

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show...

I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.

I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.

I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you...

I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you...

Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like...

Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like...

Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand...

Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand...