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Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic...
#David Letterman
It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what...
#David Letterman
It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or...
#David Letterman
Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't...
#David Letterman
I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.
#David Letterman
Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like...
#David Letterman
Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have...
#David Letterman
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall...
#David Letterman
For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.
#David Letterman
Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for...
#David Letterman
I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show...
#David Letterman
I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.
#David Letterman
I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you...
#David Letterman
Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand...
#David Letterman
Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got...
#David Letterman
We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has...
#David Letterman
We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going...
#David Letterman
Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are...
#David Letterman
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