There is no off position on the genius switch.

Quote by David Letterman

Topics: David Letterman Quotes

I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.

I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.

The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were...

The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were...

Valentine's Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th.

Valentine's Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th.

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does...

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does...

USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every...

USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every...

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom...

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom...

Sometimes something worth doing is worth overdoing.

Sometimes something worth doing is worth overdoing.

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom...

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom...

Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got...

Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got...

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show...

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show...

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does...

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does...

Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic...

Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic...

The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead. He's dead, then...

The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead. He's dead, then...

President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage...

President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage...

There is a new billboard outside Time Square. It keeps an up-to minute count of...

There is a new billboard outside Time Square. It keeps an up-to minute count of...

There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or...

It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or...

Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't...

Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't...

For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.

For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.