Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.2) Advising the President.3) Desperately clawing at the inside of…

Quote by David Letterman

Topics: Books Quotes

We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going...

We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going...

People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete...

People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete...

Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand...

Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand...

For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.

For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.

No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him...

No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him...

Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have...

Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have...

Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got...

Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got...

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show...

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show...

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom...

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom...

It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or...

It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or...

Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages....

Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages....

The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The...

The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The...

Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't...

Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't...

I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.

I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does...

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does...

There is a new billboard outside Time Square. It keeps an up-to minute count of...

There is a new billboard outside Time Square. It keeps an up-to minute count of...

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom...

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom...

I've said many a time that I think the Un-American Activities Committee in the House...

I've said many a time that I think the Un-American Activities Committee in the House...

America's future will be determined by the home and the school. The child becomes largely...

America's future will be determined by the home and the school. The child becomes largely...

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.