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I want to be happy and sad at the same time. Yeah, I know it...

I want to be happy and sad at the same time. Yeah, I know it...

Im at the top of my game. And that game is Monopoly. Im standing on...

Im at the top of my game. And that game is Monopoly. Im standing on...

Whether you live to be 50 or 100 makes no difference, if you made no...

Whether you live to be 50 or 100 makes no difference, if you made no...

All men are created Equal. Some just have more Splenda.

All men are created Equal. Some just have more Splenda.

The other day I went to the Huddle House. I wasnt hungry, I just wanted...

The other day I went to the Huddle House. I wasnt hungry, I just wanted...

The dollar isnt worth its weight in gold, and the pound isnt worth its weight...

The dollar isnt worth its weight in gold, and the pound isnt worth its weight...

I went to a football game once and got punched in the face, but you...

I went to a football game once and got punched in the face, but you...

If you work in a hospital, you cant easily fake call in sick to work....

If you work in a hospital, you cant easily fake call in sick to work....

I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. In...

I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. In...

I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull...

I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull...

I may not be a horse whisperer, but I certainly can and do shout at...

I may not be a horse whisperer, but I certainly can and do shout at...

The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn't around...

The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn't around...

The morning always has a way of creeping up on me and peeking in my...

The morning always has a way of creeping up on me and peeking in my...

The US is about to go all Billy the Kid. Inflation is going to keep...

The US is about to go all Billy the Kid. Inflation is going to keep...

If I told you Ive worked hard to get where Im at, Id be lying,...

If I told you Ive worked hard to get where Im at, Id be lying,...

A hotel is a temporary aquarium for people. Thats why I travel with a fishing...

A hotel is a temporary aquarium for people. Thats why I travel with a fishing...

My two favorite colors of the rainbow are gold and leprechaun.

My two favorite colors of the rainbow are gold and leprechaun.

The body is at its best between the ages of thirty and thirty-five; the mind...

The body is at its best between the ages of thirty and thirty-five; the mind...

In the age of acorns, before the times of Ceres, a single barley-corn had been...

In the age of acorns, before the times of Ceres, a single barley-corn had been...

The torpid artist seeks inspiration at any cost, by virtue or by vice, by friend...

The torpid artist seeks inspiration at any cost, by virtue or by vice, by friend...

Truth, like gold, is to be obtained not by its growth, but by washing away...

Truth, like gold, is to be obtained not by its growth, but by washing away...

Wii Sports: All the frustration of real sports with out the physical exercise.

Wii Sports: All the frustration of real sports with out the physical exercise.