Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.

Quote by Joan Rivers

Topics: Hilarious Quotes, Love Quotes

Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you.

Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you.

Dont talk to me about Valentines Day. At my age an affair of the heart...

Dont talk to me about Valentines Day. At my age an affair of the heart...

Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience...

Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience...

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call...

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call...

My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the...

My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the...

There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.

There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.

Never floss with a stranger.

Never floss with a stranger.

Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your...

Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your...

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or...

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or...

Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.

Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the...

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the...

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.

It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later...

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later...

She's so pure, Moses couldn't even part her knees.

She's so pure, Moses couldn't even part her knees.

I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't make it through...

I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't make it through...

Is she fat? Her favorite food is seconds

Is she fat? Her favorite food is seconds

The awkward moment when you're eating dinner at someone else's house and you don't like...

The awkward moment when you're eating dinner at someone else's house and you don't like...

Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as...

Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as...