Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.

Quote by Joan Rivers

Topics: Hilarious Quotes, Love Quotes

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are...

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are...

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later...

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later...

I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.

I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer.

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer.

You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to...

You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to...

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.

Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.

Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.

Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.

I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't make it through...

I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't make it through...

I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are.

I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are.

She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world...

She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world...

He who limps is still walking.

He who limps is still walking.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call...

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call...

Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.

Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the...

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the...

I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put...

I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put...

Never floss with a stranger.

Never floss with a stranger.

I could dance till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with...

I could dance till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with...

Ooooh Miss Laaaady...

Ooooh Miss Laaaady...