Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids.

Quote by Bill Maher

Topics: Bill Maher Quotes

Today is 'Take our Daughters to Work Day.' This is when girls ages Nine to...

Today is 'Take our Daughters to Work Day.' This is when girls ages Nine to...

I was watching Ashlee Simpson on Jay's show last night... She was really singing, and...

I was watching Ashlee Simpson on Jay's show last night... She was really singing, and...

The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed...

The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed...

Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he...

Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he...

Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please,...

Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please,...

When we make mistakes they call it evil

When we make mistakes they call it evil

Men are only as loyal as their options.

Men are only as loyal as their options.

If you think you have it tough, read history books.

If you think you have it tough, read history books.

A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10...

A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10...

I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.

I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or...

They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or...

We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I...

We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I...

Men are only as loyal as their options

Men are only as loyal as their options

Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen...

Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen...

When sex is good theres nothing better, when its bad its not bad.

When sex is good theres nothing better, when its bad its not bad.

We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free...

We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free...

President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is...

President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is...

We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.

We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.