Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids.

Quote by Bill Maher

Topics: Bill Maher Quotes

I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is...

I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is...

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or...

They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or...

Men are only as loyal as their options

Men are only as loyal as their options

I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else...

I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else...

My wife always has a splitting archetype whenever I want to have sex.

My wife always has a splitting archetype whenever I want to have sex.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.

Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.

Janet Jackson's 'wardrobe malfunction' cost CBS Five hundred and Fifty grand this week. Boy, what...

Janet Jackson's 'wardrobe malfunction' cost CBS Five hundred and Fifty grand this week. Boy, what...

Maybe every other American movie shouldn't be based on a comic book. Other countries will...

Maybe every other American movie shouldn't be based on a comic book. Other countries will...

I was watching Ashlee Simpson on Jay's show last night... She was really singing, and...

I was watching Ashlee Simpson on Jay's show last night... She was really singing, and...

Today is 'Take our Daughters to Work Day.' This is when girls ages Nine to...

Today is 'Take our Daughters to Work Day.' This is when girls ages Nine to...

Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is.

Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is.

I think religion is bad and drugs are good.

I think religion is bad and drugs are good.

We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying...

We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying...

Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case...

Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case...

When we make mistakes they call it evil

When we make mistakes they call it evil

Well! Evil to some is always good to others.

Well! Evil to some is always good to others.

Evil has no substance of its own, but is only the defect, excess, perversion, or...

Evil has no substance of its own, but is only the defect, excess, perversion, or...

The devil is the author of confusion

The devil is the author of confusion

The mistakes are all waiting to be made.

The mistakes are all waiting to be made.