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I was watching Ashlee Simpson on Jay's show last night... She was really singing, and...

I was watching Ashlee Simpson on Jay's show last night... She was really singing, and...

If I wanted to have wooden sex with strings attached I'd get married. In reference...

If I wanted to have wooden sex with strings attached I'd get married. In reference...

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else...

I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else...

I think religion is bad and drugs are good.

I think religion is bad and drugs are good.

If you were on a sinking ship and yelled, Women and children first! how much...

If you were on a sinking ship and yelled, Women and children first! how much...

Nobody sees people as people. It's all how they relate to my little group.

Nobody sees people as people. It's all how they relate to my little group.

Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make...

Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make...

The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence...

The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence...

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to...

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to...

We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying...

We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying...

We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.

We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.

Men are only as loyal as their options

Men are only as loyal as their options

When we talk about values, I think of rationality in solving problems. Thats something I...

When we talk about values, I think of rationality in solving problems. Thats something I...

This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich...

This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich...

NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new...

NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new...

Government under democracy is thus government by orgy, almost by orgasm.

Government under democracy is thus government by orgy, almost by orgasm.

A good government implies two things: fidelity to the object of government, which is the...

A good government implies two things: fidelity to the object of government, which is the...

I don't know if I can live on my income or not - the government...

I don't know if I can live on my income or not - the government...