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Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.

Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more...

Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more...

President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is...

President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is...

To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's...

To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's...

The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The...

The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The...

I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.

I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.

Janet Jackson's 'wardrobe malfunction' cost CBS Five hundred and Fifty grand this week. Boy, what...

Janet Jackson's 'wardrobe malfunction' cost CBS Five hundred and Fifty grand this week. Boy, what...

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

If I wanted to have wooden sex with strings attached I'd get married. In reference...

If I wanted to have wooden sex with strings attached I'd get married. In reference...

This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something...

This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something...

I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else...

I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else...

The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed...

The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed...

Stop worrying. Hollywood wont turn your daughter into a nymphomaniac or get her hooked on...

Stop worrying. Hollywood wont turn your daughter into a nymphomaniac or get her hooked on...

People have romantic notions about television. In the highest realms they think it's some sort...

People have romantic notions about television. In the highest realms they think it's some sort...

I would describe my spirituality as exactly the opposite of having a religious affiliation.

I would describe my spirituality as exactly the opposite of having a religious affiliation.

We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.

We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.

Men are only as loyal as their options.

Men are only as loyal as their options.

Man has such a predilection for systems and abstract deductions that he is ready to...

Man has such a predilection for systems and abstract deductions that he is ready to...

Clothes and manners do not make the man; but, when he is made, they greatly...

Clothes and manners do not make the man; but, when he is made, they greatly...

I like men who have a future and women who have a past.

I like men who have a future and women who have a past.

Fit no stereotypes. Don't chase the latest management fads. The situation dictates which approach best...

Fit no stereotypes. Don't chase the latest management fads. The situation dictates which approach best...