I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.

Quote by Jack Benny

Topics: Death Quotes, Funny Quotes

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the...

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the...

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the...

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the...

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have...

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have...

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't...

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't...

I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.

I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.

If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Gags die, humor doesn't.

Gags die, humor doesn't.

Gags die, humor doesn't

Gags die, humor doesn't

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.

Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.

It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.

It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.

A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck...

A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck...

Modesty is my best quality

Modesty is my best quality

Modesty is my best quality.

Modesty is my best quality.