If you were to open up a baby's head -- and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should -- you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Baby Quotes, Funny Quotes

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in...

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in...

I find myself having these conversations where I go...You know, the guy, in that place....

I find myself having these conversations where I go...You know, the guy, in that place....

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since...

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since...

If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its...

If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its...

It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a...

It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a...

Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items...

Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items...

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a...

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a...

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of...

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of...

I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of...

I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of...

Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is...

Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is...

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined...

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined...

And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will...

And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will...

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the...

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the...

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

I was a young person once, shortly after the polar ice caps retreated, and I...

I was a young person once, shortly after the polar ice caps retreated, and I...

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who...

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who...

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a...

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a...

No nation was ever ruined by trade.

No nation was ever ruined by trade.

If you want success, then don't rely on other people to do what YOU can...

If you want success, then don't rely on other people to do what YOU can...

For every sale you miss because you're too enthusiastic, you will miss a hundred because...

For every sale you miss because you're too enthusiastic, you will miss a hundred because...