The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account.

Quote by Andy Rooney

Topics: Andy Rooney Quotes

Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a...

Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a...

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef...

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef...

I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about,...

I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about,...

I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it...

I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it...

I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more...

I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more...

Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.

Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in...

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in...

I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who think they like our country more than I do. Some...

I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who think they like our country more than I do. Some...

Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of...

Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of...

All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under...

All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under...

I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep...

I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep...

Elephants and grandchildren never forget.

Elephants and grandchildren never forget.

The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.

The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.

When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if...

When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if...

Because over the past few years, more money has been spent on breast implants and...

Because over the past few years, more money has been spent on breast implants and...

Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

Democrats (I think to myself) are liberals who believe the people are basically good, but...

Democrats (I think to myself) are liberals who believe the people are basically good, but...

One of my movies was called True Lies. It's what the Democrats should have called...

One of my movies was called True Lies. It's what the Democrats should have called...

I will make a bargain with the Republicans. If they will stop telling lies about...

I will make a bargain with the Republicans. If they will stop telling lies about...

Actually, there is only one ''first question'' of government, and it is ''How should we...

Actually, there is only one ''first question'' of government, and it is ''How should we...