Quotes by Andy Rooney

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a...

#Funny, #Life

Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.

#Happiness

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

#Smile, #Smiling

Phyllis Schlafly speaks for all American women who oppose equal rights for themselves.

#Women

Democrats (I think to myself) are liberals who believe the people are basically good, but...

#Democrats, #Government

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they...

#Appearance, #Truth

Anyone who lies golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

#Television

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent...

#Computers

Because over the past few years, more money has been spent on breast implants and...

#Money

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef...

#Food, #Funny

When a politician mentions God half a dozen times in a speech, it's to appropriate...

#God

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in...

#Andy Rooney