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Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.

Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.

I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about,...

I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about,...

Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of...

Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of...

Anyone who lies golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

Anyone who lies golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning 'lousy hunter'

Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning 'lousy hunter'

When a politician mentions God half a dozen times in a speech, it's to appropriate...

When a politician mentions God half a dozen times in a speech, it's to appropriate...

I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.

I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.

Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.

Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

Phyllis Schlafly speaks for all American women who oppose equal rights for themselves.

Phyllis Schlafly speaks for all American women who oppose equal rights for themselves.

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent...

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent...

When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if...

When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if...

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef...

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef...

Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a...

Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a...

I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it...

I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it...

I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get...

I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get...

Democrats (I think to myself) are liberals who believe the people are basically good, but...

Democrats (I think to myself) are liberals who believe the people are basically good, but...

I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep...

I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep...

Death is a distant rumor to the young.

Death is a distant rumor to the young.

All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under...

All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under...