I decided to cancel my Twitter account. I dont want to sound paranoid, but Im pretty sure people are following me.

Topics: Clever Facebook Status Quotes

Never on schedule, but always on time.

Never on schedule, but always on time.

It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny...

It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny...

Facebook should make it to where it says, 'Went from being in a relationship' to...

Facebook should make it to where it says, 'Went from being in a relationship' to...

If a person who drinks too much is an alcoholic, then is someone who never...

If a person who drinks too much is an alcoholic, then is someone who never...

I feel like getting something done today, so Im just going to sit here until...

I feel like getting something done today, so Im just going to sit here until...

Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept...

Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept...

I used to be good at sports. Then I realized that I could buy trophies....

I used to be good at sports. Then I realized that I could buy trophies....

Does anyone have that light switch in their house that they really don't know what...

Does anyone have that light switch in their house that they really don't know what...

Sometimes you have to make the right decision, and sometimes you have to make the...

Sometimes you have to make the right decision, and sometimes you have to make the...

I dont mind ketchup on my hot dog, as long as the bun is tight.

I dont mind ketchup on my hot dog, as long as the bun is tight.

I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that...

I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that...

Oxymoron: When an astronaut feels under the weather.

Oxymoron: When an astronaut feels under the weather.

To men, women are just city buses. There's another one every five minutes.

To men, women are just city buses. There's another one every five minutes.

Saying I don't take my meds because they make me feel funny. Is like cannibals...

Saying I don't take my meds because they make me feel funny. Is like cannibals...

Why do banks lock their pens to the desk? If i'm trusting you with my...

Why do banks lock their pens to the desk? If i'm trusting you with my...

Better late than never, but never late is better.

Better late than never, but never late is better.

I'm not clumsy. It's just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies...

I'm not clumsy. It's just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies...

Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and...

Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and...