I decided to cancel my Twitter account. I dont want to sound paranoid, but Im pretty sure people are following me.

Topics: Clever Facebook Status Quotes

Facebook should make it to where it says, 'Went from being in a relationship' to...

Facebook should make it to where it says, 'Went from being in a relationship' to...

I just dropped my laptop off the boat....It's a Dell, rolling in the deep.

I just dropped my laptop off the boat....It's a Dell, rolling in the deep.

Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept...

Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept...

To men, women are just city buses. There's another one every five minutes.

To men, women are just city buses. There's another one every five minutes.

Oxymoron: When an astronaut feels under the weather.

Oxymoron: When an astronaut feels under the weather.

I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that...

I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that...

It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny...

It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny...

Better late than never, but never late is better.

Better late than never, but never late is better.

When girls hack a friends Facebook account: 'I love you b*tch!' When boys hack a...

When girls hack a friends Facebook account: 'I love you b*tch!' When boys hack a...

My 'check engine' light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and...

My 'check engine' light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and...

You want to know someone who is amazing, beautiful and has the cutest smile ever?...

You want to know someone who is amazing, beautiful and has the cutest smile ever?...

I dont mind ketchup on my hot dog, as long as the bun is tight.

I dont mind ketchup on my hot dog, as long as the bun is tight.

Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and...

Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and...

I feel like getting something done today, so Im just going to sit here until...

I feel like getting something done today, so Im just going to sit here until...

Does anyone have that light switch in their house that they really don't know what...

Does anyone have that light switch in their house that they really don't know what...

Why do banks lock their pens to the desk? If i'm trusting you with my...

Why do banks lock their pens to the desk? If i'm trusting you with my...

I used to be good at sports. Then I realized that I could buy trophies....

I used to be good at sports. Then I realized that I could buy trophies....

Saying I don't take my meds because they make me feel funny. Is like cannibals...

Saying I don't take my meds because they make me feel funny. Is like cannibals...