Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
Quote by Johnny Carson
Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas.
My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.
Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at...
The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives...
Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow...
People will pay more to be entertained than educated.
Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing,...
New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved.
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen...
We're more effective than birth control pills.
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his...
I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and...
If variety if the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam
For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper...
Every generation wants to be the last. Every generation hates the next trend in music...
We humans do, when the cause is sufficient, spend our lives. We throw ourselves onto...
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Everyone knows that by far the happiest and universally enjoyable age of man is the...