So I said, 'Where do you want to go for your anniversary?' She said: 'I want to go somewhere I've never been before.' I said, 'Try the kitchen.'

Quote by Henry Youngman

Topics: Funny Quotes, Jokes Quotes

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up they have no holidays.

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up they have no holidays.

I've got all the money I'll ever need; if I die by four O'clock

I've got all the money I'll ever need; if I die by four O'clock

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.

When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my...

When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my...

I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds...

I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds...

I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I...

I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I...

Those bellhops in Miami are tip-happy. I ordered a deck of playing cards and the...

Those bellhops in Miami are tip-happy. I ordered a deck of playing cards and the...

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, 'There's water in the...

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, 'There's water in the...

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to...

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to...

Marriage is a ghastly public confession of a strictly private intention

Marriage is a ghastly public confession of a strictly private intention

The first bond of society is marriage.

The first bond of society is marriage.

The best friend will probably acquire the best wife, because a good marriage is founded...

The best friend will probably acquire the best wife, because a good marriage is founded...