Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake IDs.

Quote by Dan Castellaneta

Topics: Drink Quotes

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should...

If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should...

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!

English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!

I often say, if I wasn't part of the show I'd be a huge fan...

I often say, if I wasn't part of the show I'd be a huge fan...

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.

Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.

Don't you ever, EVER talk that way about television.

Don't you ever, EVER talk that way about television.

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy! I'm...

I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy! I'm...

It's the cushiest job, but some lines are so funny that I crack up.

It's the cushiest job, but some lines are so funny that I crack up.

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

After years of doing it, you learn the difference between your ego and your opinion....

After years of doing it, you learn the difference between your ego and your opinion....

The humor is essentially dark for a cartoon and sophisticated. But at the same time,...

The humor is essentially dark for a cartoon and sophisticated. But at the same time,...

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against...

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against...

Good drink... good meat... good God, let's eat!

Good drink... good meat... good God, let's eat!

And he burnt his burnt offering and his meat offering, and poured his drink offering,...

And he burnt his burnt offering and his meat offering, and poured his drink offering,...

Tough girls come from New York. Sweet girls, they're from Georgia. But us Kentucky girls,...

Tough girls come from New York. Sweet girls, they're from Georgia. But us Kentucky girls,...

If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in...

If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in...