Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

Quote by Dan Castellaneta

Topics: Television Quotes

If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should...

If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should...

Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step...

Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step...

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

I've made a kind of pact with myself where I said, It doesn't matter what...

I've made a kind of pact with myself where I said, It doesn't matter what...

All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers....

All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers....

I think the tone of the show has certainly changed over the years, because it's...

I think the tone of the show has certainly changed over the years, because it's...

I know what you're saying, Bart. When I was young, I wanted an electric football...

I know what you're saying, Bart. When I was young, I wanted an electric football...

Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.

Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against...

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against...

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.

Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have...

Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have...

One of my favorite episodes was the one in which Homer grew hair. That was...

One of my favorite episodes was the one in which Homer grew hair. That was...

Good drink... good meat... good God, let's eat!

Good drink... good meat... good God, let's eat!

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

It's hard to find a play that's right for me to do. Rather than waiting...

It's hard to find a play that's right for me to do. Rather than waiting...

It's the weirdest thing. When you go into acting, you expect to be a huge...

It's the weirdest thing. When you go into acting, you expect to be a huge...

I think that most people don't even know that I do other things. They think...

I think that most people don't even know that I do other things. They think...

Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.

Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.

It's the cushiest job, but some lines are so funny that I crack up.

It's the cushiest job, but some lines are so funny that I crack up.