Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

Quote by Dan Castellaneta

Topics: Dan Castellaneta Quotes

I think that most people don't even know that I do other things. They think...

I think that most people don't even know that I do other things. They think...

Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step...

Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step...

I know what you're saying, Bart. When I was young, I wanted an electric football...

I know what you're saying, Bart. When I was young, I wanted an electric football...

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

I think the tone of the show has certainly changed over the years, because it's...

I think the tone of the show has certainly changed over the years, because it's...

It's the weirdest thing. When you go into acting, you expect to be a huge...

It's the weirdest thing. When you go into acting, you expect to be a huge...

It's a different way of getting across an emotion. You're trying to get it across...

It's a different way of getting across an emotion. You're trying to get it across...

Bart! With $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...

Bart! With $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...

Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have...

Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have...

Good drink... good meat... good God, let's eat!

Good drink... good meat... good God, let's eat!

Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else...

Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else...

I often say, if I wasn't part of the show I'd be a huge fan...

I often say, if I wasn't part of the show I'd be a huge fan...

After years of doing it, you learn the difference between your ego and your opinion....

After years of doing it, you learn the difference between your ego and your opinion....

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake...

Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake...

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

A man cannot make him laugh; but that's no marvel; he drinks no wine

A man cannot make him laugh; but that's no marvel; he drinks no wine

Who can tell the dancer from the dance?

Who can tell the dancer from the dance?

When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvellous personality that started you...

When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvellous personality that started you...

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at...

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at...

If I had my life to live over again, I'd be a plumber.

If I had my life to live over again, I'd be a plumber.