Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
Quote by Dan Castellaneta
Dan Castellaneta Quotes
Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.
Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.
In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!
I've made a kind of pact with myself where I said, It doesn't matter what...
I often say, if I wasn't part of the show I'd be a huge fan...
It's hard to find a play that's right for me to do. Rather than waiting...
Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.
It's a different way of getting across an emotion. You're trying to get it across...
Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?
I think the tone of the show has certainly changed over the years, because it's...
It is better to watch things then to do them.
Oh, so they have internet on computers now!
Don't you ever, EVER talk that way about television.
English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!
Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step...
Good drink... good meat... good God, let's eat!
All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers....
We dont have a trillion-dollar debt because we havent taxed enough; we have a trillion-dollar...
Nothing that is God's is obtainable by money.
The whole town laughed at my great-grandfather, just because he worked hard and saved his...