No One Diets on Thanksgiving. What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?

Quote by Erma Bombeck

Topics: Funny Quotes, Thanksgiving Quotes

Families aren't easy to join. They're like an exclusive country club where membership makes impossible...

Families aren't easy to join. They're like an exclusive country club where membership makes impossible...

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the...

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the...

Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for...

Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for...

When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere...

When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere...

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert...

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert...

Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come...

Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come...

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy...

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy...

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take...

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take...

The Olympic Spirit is neither the property of one race nor of one age.

The Olympic Spirit is neither the property of one race nor of one age.

It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.

It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for...

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for...

The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears it...

The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears it...

The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on...

The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on...

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

New needs need new techniques. And the modern artists have found new ways and new...

New needs need new techniques. And the modern artists have found new ways and new...

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is...

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is...

Some refer to it as a cultural Chernobyl. I think of it as a cultural...

Some refer to it as a cultural Chernobyl. I think of it as a cultural...

Watch the costs and the profits will take care of themselves.

Watch the costs and the profits will take care of themselves.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

Thanksgiving is a season that is very much in accord with the themes and teachings...

Thanksgiving is a season that is very much in accord with the themes and teachings...