Monday is a dreadful way to spend 1/7 of your life.

Topics: Funny Quotes, Monday Quotes

My girlfriend always laughs during sex -- no matter what she's reading.

My girlfriend always laughs during sex -- no matter what she's reading.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried...

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried...

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.

As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.

There has never been an age that did not applaud the past and lament the...

There has never been an age that did not applaud the past and lament the...

Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale her infinite variety. Other women cloy the appetites...

Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale her infinite variety. Other women cloy the appetites...

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.

Consider what you have in the smallest chosen library: a company of the wisest and...

Consider what you have in the smallest chosen library: a company of the wisest and...

We must laugh at man to avoid crying for him.

We must laugh at man to avoid crying for him.

Five-second fuses only last three seconds.

Five-second fuses only last three seconds.

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.

Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.

Just at the age 'twixt boy and youth, When thought is speech, and speech is...

Just at the age 'twixt boy and youth, When thought is speech, and speech is...

Sometimes I'm so sweet even I can't stand it.

Sometimes I'm so sweet even I can't stand it.

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

I don't mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is...

I don't mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is...

Beauty and ugliness disappear equally under the wrinkles of age; one is lost in them...

Beauty and ugliness disappear equally under the wrinkles of age; one is lost in them...

I am about to go Tebow on my Monday.

I am about to go Tebow on my Monday.

Im convinced that God gave us Mondays to punish us for the things we did...

Im convinced that God gave us Mondays to punish us for the things we did...