If Monday was a person, it'd be a Ginger...

Topics: Funny Quotes, Monday Quotes

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car

Oh, the tiger will love you. There is no sincerer love than the love of...

Oh, the tiger will love you. There is no sincerer love than the love of...

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger...

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger...

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out...

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out...

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried...

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried...

The sanitary and mechanical age we are now entering makes up for the mercy it...

The sanitary and mechanical age we are now entering makes up for the mercy it...

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He...

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He...

There is nothing wrong with change...if it is in the right direction.

There is nothing wrong with change...if it is in the right direction.

I slept like a log last night. I woke up in the fireplace.

I slept like a log last night. I woke up in the fireplace.

You couldn't get hold of the things you'd done and turn them right again. Such...

You couldn't get hold of the things you'd done and turn them right again. Such...

In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school,...

In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school,...

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.

I hope some day to make you all a cup of coffee. Alright, peace.

I hope some day to make you all a cup of coffee. Alright, peace.

Jazz is the folk music of the machine age.

Jazz is the folk music of the machine age.

I never did very well in mathI could never seem to persuade the teacher that...

I never did very well in mathI could never seem to persuade the teacher that...

Youth troubles over eternity, age grasps at a day and is satisfied to have even...

Youth troubles over eternity, age grasps at a day and is satisfied to have even...

The consumer isn't a moron; she is your wife.

The consumer isn't a moron; she is your wife.

I think we're seeing in working mothers a change from 'Thank God it's Friday' to...

I think we're seeing in working mothers a change from 'Thank God it's Friday' to...

It's awful knowing that one seventh of our life will be wasted on Mondays.

It's awful knowing that one seventh of our life will be wasted on Mondays.