I love to go to Washington -- if only to be near my money.

Quote by Bob Hope

Topics: Money Quotes

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot...

When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot...

I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.

I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.

Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.

Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into...

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into...

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you...

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you...

Your ignorance cramps my conversation

Your ignorance cramps my conversation

Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough

Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough

You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.

You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's...

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's...

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you...

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you...

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I...

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I...

Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.

Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.

Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?

Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing...

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing...

In conversation, humor is worth more than wit and easiness more than knowledge.

In conversation, humor is worth more than wit and easiness more than knowledge.

The love of truth lies at the root of much humor.

The love of truth lies at the root of much humor.