Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it.
Quote by Will Rogers
There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail.
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.
The Democrats are going to change the name of the Hoover Dam. That is the...
There comes Coolidge and does nothing and retires a hero, not only because he hadn't...
Politicians can do more funny things naturally than I can think of to do purposely
The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal they...
You've got to be (an) optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be...
I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to...
The best way out of a difficulty is through it.
The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.
The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has....
Prohibition is better than no liquor at all.
The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is...
Communism is like Prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work
I never lack material for my humor column when Congress is in session.
All the fun's in how you say a thing
Germans are flummoxed by humor, the Swiss have no concept of fun, the Spanish think...