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Reading those turgid philosophers here in these remote stone buildings may not get you a...

Reading those turgid philosophers here in these remote stone buildings may not get you a...

The syndicates take the strip and sell it to newspapers and split the income with...

The syndicates take the strip and sell it to newspapers and split the income with...

The world of a comic strip ought to be a special place with its own...

The world of a comic strip ought to be a special place with its own...

You should stick with what you enjoy, what you find funny -- that's the humor...

You should stick with what you enjoy, what you find funny -- that's the humor...

Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.

Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough...

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough...

I liked things better when I didn't understand them.

I liked things better when I didn't understand them.

By golly, life's too darn short to waste time trying to please every meddlesome moron...

By golly, life's too darn short to waste time trying to please every meddlesome moron...

I won't eat any cereal that doesn't turn the milk purple.

I won't eat any cereal that doesn't turn the milk purple.

God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now...

God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now...

Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?

Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is...

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is...

I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by...

I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by...

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're...

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're...

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has...

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has...

That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe...

That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe...

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.

Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.

So, what's it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond...

So, what's it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond...