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Related Quotes

Often times I'm confronted with a quote that I don't remember saying. So, on one...

Often times I'm confronted with a quote that I don't remember saying. So, on one...

If guns kill people, then pencils misspell words, cars make people drive drunk, and spoons...

If guns kill people, then pencils misspell words, cars make people drive drunk, and spoons...

Saturday Night Live is such a comedy boot camp in a way, because you get...

Saturday Night Live is such a comedy boot camp in a way, because you get...

Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed...

Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed...

Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet.

Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet.

A lot of people have gotten into comedy because of certain influences in their lives...

A lot of people have gotten into comedy because of certain influences in their lives...

All you have in comedy, in general, is just going with your instincts. You can...

All you have in comedy, in general, is just going with your instincts. You can...

I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I...

I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I...

I think a lot of the instincts you have doing comedy are really the same...

I think a lot of the instincts you have doing comedy are really the same...

James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting...

James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting...

Nobody sees people as people. It's all how they relate to my little group.

Nobody sees people as people. It's all how they relate to my little group.

No man can be a genius in slapshoes and a flat hat.

No man can be a genius in slapshoes and a flat hat.

A group of politicians deciding to dump a President because his morals are bad is...

A group of politicians deciding to dump a President because his morals are bad is...

My ex-girlfriend had a really weird fetish. She used to like to dress up as...

My ex-girlfriend had a really weird fetish. She used to like to dress up as...

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals...

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals...

I'll show you politics in America. Here it is, right here. 'I think the puppet...

I'll show you politics in America. Here it is, right here. 'I think the puppet...

We got so much food in America we're allergic to food. Allergic to food! Hungry...

We got so much food in America we're allergic to food. Allergic to food! Hungry...

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the...

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the...

Well, I'd say that the minute sound came in, it was everybody talking their heads...

Well, I'd say that the minute sound came in, it was everybody talking their heads...

Life is too serious to do farce comedy.

Life is too serious to do farce comedy.