Communism is like one big phone company.

Quote by Lenny Bruce

Topics: Religion Quotes, Schools Quotes

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will...

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will...

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake...

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake...

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a...

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a...

Communism is like one big phone company.

Communism is like one big phone company.

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of...

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of...

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it...

A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it...

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

The what should be never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to...

The what should be never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught...

There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught...

You may fool all the people some of the time, you can even fool some...

You may fool all the people some of the time, you can even fool some...

The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts while...

The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts while...

I have tried 99 times and have failed, but on the 100th time came success.

I have tried 99 times and have failed, but on the 100th time came success.