If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.

Quote by Lenny Bruce

Topics: People Quotes, Trying Quotes

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will...

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will...

A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it...

A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it...

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

The what should be never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to...

The what should be never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to...

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of...

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of...

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil,...

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil,...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a...

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Communism is like one big phone company.

Communism is like one big phone company.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

There are never enough I Love You's.

There are never enough I Love You's.

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.