If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.
Quote by Edgar W Howe
A real friend is someone who walks in when the rest of the world walks...
Get the right people on the bus and in the right seat.
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take...
In the great books of India, an empire spoke to us, nothing small or unworthy,...
I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull...
Why is Monday so far from Friday but Friday so close to Monday?
Age is a matter of feeling, not of years.
I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me...
The main thing is keeping the main thing the main thing.
He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.
I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries.
When the age is in, the wit is out.
How young can you die of old age?
I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord,...
The weather is like the government, always in the wrong.
The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to...
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope...
Dont go looking for pancakes when you have flapjacks at home.
Teacher: Your paper should be 5-8 pages Long. Me: 5 Pages it is.
Dear person who finishes test in 10 minutes, I HOPE YOU FAIL! Sincerely, still on...