The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Quote by Frank McKinney Hubbard

Topics: Funny Quotes, Money Quotes

We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a...

We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a...

God employs several translators; some pieces are translated by age, some by sickness, some by...

God employs several translators; some pieces are translated by age, some by sickness, some by...

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from...

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from...

There must be a law against forcing children to perform at an early age. Children...

There must be a law against forcing children to perform at an early age. Children...

This New Years, I'm going to party like Maury just told me I'm not the...

This New Years, I'm going to party like Maury just told me I'm not the...

Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of expense and aggravation...

Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of expense and aggravation...

Our comedies are not to be laughed at.

Our comedies are not to be laughed at.

Youth is a blunder; manhood a struggle; old age a regret.

Youth is a blunder; manhood a struggle; old age a regret.

No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.

No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.

The ruling ideas of each age have ever been the ideas of its ruling class.

The ruling ideas of each age have ever been the ideas of its ruling class.

Anyone who's just driven 90 yards against huge men trying to kill them has earned...

Anyone who's just driven 90 yards against huge men trying to kill them has earned...

Perhaps I am a bear, or some hibernating animal underneath, for the instinct to be...

Perhaps I am a bear, or some hibernating animal underneath, for the instinct to be...

Any girl can look glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look...

Any girl can look glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look...

Is there something in trade that desiccates and flattens out, that turns men into dried...

Is there something in trade that desiccates and flattens out, that turns men into dried...

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.

If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It...

If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It...

I was a bank teller. That was a great job. I was bringing home $450,000...

I was a bank teller. That was a great job. I was bringing home $450,000...

I see L.A. as a beautiful blonde with dirty underwear.

I see L.A. as a beautiful blonde with dirty underwear.

Words are weapons, and it is dangerous in speculation, as in politics, to borrow them...

Words are weapons, and it is dangerous in speculation, as in politics, to borrow them...