Theres one good thing about snow, it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbors.
Quote by Clyde Moore
Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul.
In politics, an absurdity is not a handicap.
Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas...
I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be...
My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he...
It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to...
If the gods had intended for people to vote, they would have given us candidates
Perfection of means and confusion of ends seem to characterize our age.
Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative.
So a man jumps into a taxi and says King Arthur's close and the taxi...
Most of the time when people laugh at me...I'm not trying to be funny.
I'm all about sharing the road with other drivers...as long as they use the part...
In our daily lives problems are bound to arise. The biggest problems in our lives...
Baseball is like church. Many attend, few understand.
I was good at math before they decided to mix the alphabet in it.
Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are...
I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted...
Dont complain about the snow on your neighbors roof when your own doorstep is unclean.
Minneapolis has two seasons: Road Removal and Snow Repair.