I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.

Quote by Tom Waits

Topics: Beer Quotes, Funny Quotes

The piano has been drinking, not me.

The piano has been drinking, not me.

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends.

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends.

Don't you know there ain't no devil, it's just god when he's drunk.

Don't you know there ain't no devil, it's just god when he's drunk.

The big print giveth and the small print taketh away.

The big print giveth and the small print taketh away.

I admit that I ain't no angel, I admit that I ain't no saint-- I'm...

I admit that I ain't no angel, I admit that I ain't no saint-- I'm...

George Bush is a fan of mine, he came to see me in the Seventies....

George Bush is a fan of mine, he came to see me in the Seventies....

I'm so horny the crack of dawn better watch out.

I'm so horny the crack of dawn better watch out.

The large print giveth, but the small print taketh away.

The large print giveth, but the small print taketh away.

I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy.

I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy.

Their memory's like a train: you can see it getting smaller as it pulls away...

Their memory's like a train: you can see it getting smaller as it pulls away...

Their memory's like a train: you can see it getting smaller as it pulls away...

Their memory's like a train: you can see it getting smaller as it pulls away...

I'm just trying to make a buck like everyone else.

I'm just trying to make a buck like everyone else.

It's hard to win when you always lose.

It's hard to win when you always lose.