I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.

Quote by Steve Martin

Topics: Steve Martin Quotes

An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he might...

An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he might...

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money...

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money...

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order...

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order...

There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught...

There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught...

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.

I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this country what it once was... an...

I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this country what it once was... an...

When your hobbies get in the way of your work - that's OK; but when...

When your hobbies get in the way of your work - that's OK; but when...

You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all...

You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all...

Love is a promise delivered already broken.

Love is a promise delivered already broken.

I believe that sex is the most beautiful, natural, and wholesome thing that money can...

I believe that sex is the most beautiful, natural, and wholesome thing that money can...

Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!

Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!

What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.

What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.

There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught...

There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught...

I believe in eight of the ten commandments; and I believe in going to church...

I believe in eight of the ten commandments; and I believe in going to church...

First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease...

First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease...

Even people who aren't sick may not have optimal wellness.

Even people who aren't sick may not have optimal wellness.

The problem is that you have a disease, but the disease is abnormal integrity, loyalty...

The problem is that you have a disease, but the disease is abnormal integrity, loyalty...

The Pope has swept through Africa, where 5 million people are already infected with the...

The Pope has swept through Africa, where 5 million people are already infected with the...