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I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch...

I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch...

I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't.

I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't.

An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he might...

An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he might...

Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!

Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order...

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order...

Comedy may be big business but it isn't pretty.

Comedy may be big business but it isn't pretty.

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only...

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only...

I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this country what it once was... an...

I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this country what it once was... an...

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.

Love is a promise delivered already broken.

Love is a promise delivered already broken.

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

The real joy is in constructing a sentence. But I see myself as an actor...

The real joy is in constructing a sentence. But I see myself as an actor...

There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught...

There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught...

Well, excuuuuuse me!

Well, excuuuuuse me!

What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.

What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.

When your hobbies get in the way of your work - that's OK; but when...

When your hobbies get in the way of your work - that's OK; but when...

You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all...

You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all...

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.