I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough.

Quote by Les Dawson

Topics: Funny Quotes, Jokes Quotes

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw...

I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw...

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the...

Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the...

I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me...

I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me...

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like...

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like...

He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his...

He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his...

Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up.

Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up.

There are only two places in the world where time takes precedence over the job...

There are only two places in the world where time takes precedence over the job...

Midlife crisis is that moment when you realize your children and your clothes are about...

Midlife crisis is that moment when you realize your children and your clothes are about...

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it...

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it...

I haven't taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.

I haven't taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.

I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and half of Friday.

I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and half of Friday.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will...

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will...

Youth is the time of getting, middle age of improving, and old age of spending.

Youth is the time of getting, middle age of improving, and old age of spending.

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since...

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since...

Women are deep beautiful blue oceans and once a month its Shark week!

Women are deep beautiful blue oceans and once a month its Shark week!

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take...

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take...

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

In Hollywood, all marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes the...

In Hollywood, all marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes the...