I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough.

Quote by Les Dawson

Topics: Funny Quotes, Jokes Quotes

Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up.

Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up.

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his...

He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his...

I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw...

I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw...

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like...

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like...

Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the...

Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the...

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me...

I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me...

I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over...

I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over...

I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.

I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.

The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and one on...

The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and one on...

Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems,...

Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems,...

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And...

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And...

He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.

He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in...

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in...

I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short.

I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short.

As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.

As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.

I could dance till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with...

I could dance till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with...

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take...

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take...

A guy at work went in for a competition and won a trip to China....

A guy at work went in for a competition and won a trip to China....