I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Quote by Les Dawson

Topics: Les Dawson Quotes

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like...

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like...

Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the...

Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the...

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up.

Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up.

I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw...

I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw...

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his...

He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his...

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going...

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going...

I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me...

I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me...

There are few things that we so unwillingly give up, even in advanced age, as...

There are few things that we so unwillingly give up, even in advanced age, as...

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me!

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me!

Graduation Speech: I'd like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy &...

Graduation Speech: I'd like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy &...

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.

For, Heaven be thank'd, we live in such an age, when no man dies for...

For, Heaven be thank'd, we live in such an age, when no man dies for...

In an age in which the media broadcast countless pieces of foolishness, the educated man...

In an age in which the media broadcast countless pieces of foolishness, the educated man...

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabetsoup?

Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabetsoup?

An age is called Dark not because the light fails to shine, but because people...

An age is called Dark not because the light fails to shine, but because people...

Gags die, humor doesn't

Gags die, humor doesn't