I invented the cordless extension cord.

Quote by Stephen Wright

Topics: Jokes Quotes

The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing...

The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing...

Well, you know when you're rocking in a rocking chair, and you go so far...

Well, you know when you're rocking in a rocking chair, and you go so far...

I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint,...

I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint,...

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he...

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he...

I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new...

I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new...

Boy, life takes a long time to live

Boy, life takes a long time to live

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My...

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My...

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the...

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the...

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped...

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped...

I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one...

I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one...

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my...

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my...

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

I have a microwave fireplace in my house. The other night I laid down in...

I have a microwave fireplace in my house. The other night I laid down in...

I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how...

I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how...

I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.

I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going...

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going...

Women only have trouble parking because we are constantly lied to about what 8 inches...

Women only have trouble parking because we are constantly lied to about what 8 inches...

I'm all about sharing the road with other drivers...as long as they use the part...

I'm all about sharing the road with other drivers...as long as they use the part...