Quotes by Stephen Wright

I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day 'cause that means it's...

#Hate

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped...

#Funny, #Money

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a...

#Age, #Funny

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My...

#Dreams

He was a multi-millionaire. Wanna know how he made all of his money? He designed...

#Money

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.

#Books

I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said,...

#Money

I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how...

#Living

Boy, life takes a long time to live

#Life, #Living

I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint,...

#Painting

I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new...

#Stephen Wright

I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one...

#Automobiles