I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day 'cause that means it's gonna be up all night.

Quote by Stephen Wright

Topics: Hate Quotes

I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new...

I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new...

I invented the cordless extension cord.

I invented the cordless extension cord.

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my...

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my...

I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how...

I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how...

I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said,...

I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said,...

Boy, life takes a long time to live

Boy, life takes a long time to live

Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go...

Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go...

I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint,...

I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint,...

I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one...

I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one...

He was a multi-millionaire. Wanna know how he made all of his money? He designed...

He was a multi-millionaire. Wanna know how he made all of his money? He designed...

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a...

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a...

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.

I bought a self learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went...

I bought a self learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went...

The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing...

The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing...

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he...

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he...

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My...

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My...

Well, you know when you're rocking in a rocking chair, and you go so far...

Well, you know when you're rocking in a rocking chair, and you go so far...

I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint,...

I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint,...

It is paradoxical that many educators and parents still differentiate between a time for learning...

It is paradoxical that many educators and parents still differentiate between a time for learning...

No, even my players aren't players.

No, even my players aren't players.