I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.

Quote by Bob Hope

Topics: Age Quotes, Funny Quotes

When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot...

When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot...

Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.

Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.

Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.

Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing...

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing...

When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things -...

When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things -...

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?

Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?

I thought 'Deep Throat' was a movie about a giraffe.

I thought 'Deep Throat' was a movie about a giraffe.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's...

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's...

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you...

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you...

I have to much money invested in sweaters.

I have to much money invested in sweaters.

I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.

I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into...

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into...

If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart...

If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart...

You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.

You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for...

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for...

At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to...

At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to...

I'll never understand the animal, the machine of Hollywood business. And I don't want to...

I'll never understand the animal, the machine of Hollywood business. And I don't want to...

In Europe an actor is an artist. In Hollywood, if he isn't working, he's a...

In Europe an actor is an artist. In Hollywood, if he isn't working, he's a...