I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.

Quote by Bob Hope

Topics: Age Quotes, Funny Quotes

If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants...

If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants...

Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.

Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.

You've got to be rich to have a swing like that.

You've got to be rich to have a swing like that.

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing...

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing...

I have to much money invested in sweaters.

I have to much money invested in sweaters.

You've got to be rich to have a swing like that.

You've got to be rich to have a swing like that.

If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart...

If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart...

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance -waiting for the...

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance -waiting for the...

When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot...

When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot...

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for...

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for...

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into...

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into...

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people

I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a...

I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a...

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that...

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that...

I thought 'Deep Throat' was a movie about a giraffe.

I thought 'Deep Throat' was a movie about a giraffe.

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I...

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I...

In politics, an absurdity is not a handicap.

In politics, an absurdity is not a handicap.

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the...

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the...