I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.

Quote by Bob Hope

Topics: Age Quotes, Funny Quotes

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart...

If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart...

When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot...

When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot...

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you...

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you...

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's...

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's...

You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.

You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.

If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart...

If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart...

I have to much money invested in sweaters.

I have to much money invested in sweaters.

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I...

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I...

When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things -...

When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things -...

They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood.

They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood.

He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.

He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that...

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that...

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people

Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough

Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance -waiting for the...

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance -waiting for the...

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

One should never make one's debut in a scandal. One should reserve that to give...

One should never make one's debut in a scandal. One should reserve that to give...

And what's a life? - a weary pilgrimage, Whose glory in one day doth fill...

And what's a life? - a weary pilgrimage, Whose glory in one day doth fill...

We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude...

We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude...