I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.

Quote by Robert Orben

Topics: Robert Orben Quotes

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities...

Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities...

Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.

Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.

A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.

A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.

If you can laugh together, you can work together

If you can laugh together, you can work together

Do your kids a favor - don't have any.

Do your kids a favor - don't have any.

If you can laugh together, you can work together.

If you can laugh together, you can work together.

I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted...

I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted...

Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.

Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the...

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the...

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the...

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the...

More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back...

More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back...

Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'

Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'

In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee....

In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee....

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people...

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people...

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I...

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I...

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get...

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get...

Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at...

Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at...