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Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.

Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the...

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the...

Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket

Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket

In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee....

In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee....

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people...

,

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people...

Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't...

Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't...

Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.

,

Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.

Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're...

,

Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're...

A compliment is verbal sunshine

A compliment is verbal sunshine

There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the...

There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the...

With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!

With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs...

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs...

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people...

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people...

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes...

Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes...

What bothers me about TV is that it tends to take our minds off our...

What bothers me about TV is that it tends to take our minds off our...

I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take...

I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take...