I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.

Quote by Andy Rooney

Topics: Andy Rooney Quotes

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember...

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember...

The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was...

The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was...

I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who think they like our country more than I do. Some...

I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who think they like our country more than I do. Some...

Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning 'lousy hunter'

Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning 'lousy hunter'

I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it...

I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it...

Death is a distant rumor to the young.

Death is a distant rumor to the young.

Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.

Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning...

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning...

The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army...

The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army...

Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen...

I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen...

Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of...

Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of...

Democrats (I think to myself) are liberals who believe the people are basically good, but...

Democrats (I think to myself) are liberals who believe the people are basically good, but...

Anyone who lies golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

Anyone who lies golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent...

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent...

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent...

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent...

I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about,...

I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about,...

Politicians also have no leisure, because they are always aiming at something beyond political life...

Politicians also have no leisure, because they are always aiming at something beyond political life...

Dont sacrifice yourself too much, because if you sacrifice too much theres nothing else you...

Dont sacrifice yourself too much, because if you sacrifice too much theres nothing else you...

Life is a B Movie: it's stupid and it's strange, it's a directionless story, the...

Life is a B Movie: it's stupid and it's strange, it's a directionless story, the...