The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread.

Quote by Andy Rooney

Topics: Andy Rooney Quotes

When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if...

When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if...

The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army...

The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army...

The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror....

The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror....

I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it...

I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it...

Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.

Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.

I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about,...

I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about,...

Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a...

Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a...

Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

Death is a distant rumor to the young.

Death is a distant rumor to the young.

I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen...

I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen...

I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep...

I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep...

I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get...

I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get...

Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning 'lousy hunter'

Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning 'lousy hunter'

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent...

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent...

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember...

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember...

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

When a politician mentions God half a dozen times in a speech, it's to appropriate...

When a politician mentions God half a dozen times in a speech, it's to appropriate...

Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of...

Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of...

Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of...

Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of...

I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.

I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.