The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread.

Quote by Andy Rooney

Topics: Andy Rooney Quotes

As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we...

As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we...

I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who think they like our country more than I do. Some...

I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who think they like our country more than I do. Some...

I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.

I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember...

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember...

I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen...

I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen...

The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was...

The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was...

Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

Phyllis Schlafly speaks for all American women who oppose equal rights for themselves.

Phyllis Schlafly speaks for all American women who oppose equal rights for themselves.

Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning 'lousy hunter'

Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning 'lousy hunter'

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent...

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent...

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things...

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things...

The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.

The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.

When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if...

When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if...

I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep...

I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep...

Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of...

Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of...

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning...

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning...

Anyone who lies golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

Anyone who lies golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

Television [is] a high-impact medium. It does some things no other force can do-transmitting electronic...

Television [is] a high-impact medium. It does some things no other force can do-transmitting electronic...

The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead station.

The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead station.