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I can remember way back when a liberal was generous with his own money.

I can remember way back when a liberal was generous with his own money.

The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal they...

The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal they...

I can remember way back when a liberal was generous with his own money

I can remember way back when a liberal was generous with his own money

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year...

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year...

America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can...

America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can...

Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that...

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that...

The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except...

The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except...

The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's...

The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's...

Never let yesterday use up too much of today.

Never let yesterday use up too much of today.

The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has...

The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has...

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

Our investigations have always contributed more to our amusement than they have to knowledge

Our investigations have always contributed more to our amusement than they have to knowledge

There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.

There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.

Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works...

Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works...

A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association...

A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association...

The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.

The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny...

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny...

It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that...

It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that...

The United States never lost a war or won a conference.

The United States never lost a war or won a conference.