Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.

Quote by Johnny Carson

Topics: Hurt Feelings Quotes

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and...

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and...

If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing,...

Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing,...

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at...

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at...

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has...

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has...

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.

My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money

In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.

In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his...

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his...

New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved.

New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved.

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.

The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives...

The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives...

Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing,...

Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing,...

There are two kinds of people, those who do the work and those who take...

There are two kinds of people, those who do the work and those who take...

The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but...

The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but...

Plenty of men can do good work for a spurt and with immediate promotion in...

Plenty of men can do good work for a spurt and with immediate promotion in...